maykitz:

i’ve become so used to shitting on company time the interface of microsoft outlook is like activia to me

swiminjello:

997:

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ooo…. lady gagita

claire-witch-project:

starclouds:

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sentence i found on a grocery store review

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jpegm4fia:

charlottan:

jpegm4fia:

five nights at boobies

Come on man

five boobs at breasties

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chalkrub:
“i know he ate a cheese
”

chalkrub:

i know he ate a cheese

annasellheim:

vintage-soleil:

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The perfect Martini by Guy Buffet, 2000

BRO

memorycycle:

memorycycle:

fiona what you did to that snake was fucked up

literally girl wtf

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hobbinch:

What if all those different people who do tiktoks from their sparse white bedrooms lit with purple LED lights all live in the same room and share a bed like Charlie Bucket’s grandparents?

medievalthymes:

medievalthymes:

for the next emoji update they should add an ouroboros

“how many time in a day do you need to express the never-ending cycle of creation and destruction, birth and death, the cosmos without beginning or end?” more than you might think

thyrell:

coughloop:

thyrell:

coughloop:

coughloop:

gods greatest punishment was putting 1 trillion cool rocks on earth and no one with eyes big enough to see them all

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..ive been such a fool

thats okay ^-^ the wise man is blessed with knowledge once but the fool is blessed to learn every day

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*gets scared and throws one of my cool rocks at your fourhead*

ow what the hell

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wizard-email:

my 3 rent paying girlfriends (yes they all pay rent)